tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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