I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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