New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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