butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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