I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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