There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
