giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
