I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
