I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
