Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
