Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
