i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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