I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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