So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
