I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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