No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She announced her abortion via fbk
you win again, gameday.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
