I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
