We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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