No period for spring break; use this wisely.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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