Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just want nice things and good sex
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
