just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize