Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
