How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
