Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
