if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
