Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
