dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
