To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
