i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize