why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
