i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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