things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He did a backflip because drugs
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
