Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
