We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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