You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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