But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my sisters under your porch take her home
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize