Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
