just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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