I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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