Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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