I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
