I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
tell me about the fingering
Randomize