My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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