Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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