if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had to cum in my sink.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
