There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
