Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
