how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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