I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
