my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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