yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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