This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize