you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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