i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize