I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
